Don’t you want to lose weight?
You would look so amazing if you lost some weight!
You’re almost at the marrying age. If you don’t shed some weight, you won’t get a good husband!
How can you be happy with yourself when you weigh that much?
Have you considered surgery to get rid of that flab?
Why don’t you go to “XYZ”? They’re promising 6 kgs weight loss in 6 days!
Have you heard people say these words or something similar to you? Or worse, are you one of those people who would say this stuff to someone else? Because, quite honestly, it has happened to me before. And it doesn’t really feel good. Especially when you know that it isn’t that person’s business to bother about how or why you look the way you do.
I know, I know.
These people think they are ‘caring’ and that they are doing this out of ‘concern’. How exactly is that true? Isn’t the mirror a constant ‘caring’ reminder? Do we really need you to poke at us every single time we step out of the house?
There really is only one response to all the intruding and embarrassing questions.
So, here is the thing. I know most of us want to lose weight and even for those who don’t, that is your personal choice and I respect you for that. But what I am most concerned about is WHY. Do you know WHY you want to lose weight? Do you know WHY you feel you don’t need to lose weight?
I actually have a genetic disorder and that’s why I look like this. It’s hereditary and I have health problems. I tried everything but nothing seems to work. I lost a kilogram last week, I promise!
Stop. Just stop. Whom are you explaining yourself to? Why do you feel the need to convince someone else about the way YOU look? How is it anyone else’s business but yours? Do not make excuses for yourself. You are so much better than that. You don’t need to tell anyone anything. Remember that the only person you are answerable to is yourself.
I promise I will lose ten kgs in two months. Will you stay with me then? Please don’t break up. I know I am fat but I can’t live without you. Give me two months. I am begging you.
This is insane. If someone doesn’t want to be with you, then it is that person’s loss and not yours. But when someone doesn’t want to be with you because of the way you look, then it most definitely is your gain. You don’t need that kind of negativity in life. Let that person go to hell. Your body is your property and it belongs to nobody else. Don’t let someone claim rights over it.
I am so fat, it is hideous. If I can’t even look at myself, how can I expect someone else to be able to tolerate me? My weight has made me ugly and useless. I don’t deserve to live anymore.
Whoa! Hold on. What does beauty have to do with your weight? Why will extra flesh make you ‘useless’ and if you are THAT upset about it, wouldn’t it be better to do something about it than to lose your life over something so insignificant? Are we really that vain and insecure? I am chubby. But I am also a Chartered Accountant, an Author and a part of a wonderful family. I am sure you have something that matters to you. A roof over your head, someone who would be lost without you, a passion that you are yet to explore. Are you going to throw that away over flesh? Really?
I am going to pause here for a disclaimer. I am not supporting or promoting being unhealthy. I am trying to tell you to love yourself no matter what and that you need to figure out, deep down inside, why you are making your decisions and for whom. Okay, now back to the rant.
This tirade is not gender-specific nor is it aimed at anyone in particular. People need to stop acting like everybody has to adhere to an undefinable, perception based and impractical standard. Life is difficult as it is. It is an unending circle of pain and misery. Do we need to make it worse for ourselves?
I am fat. You are short. He is ugly. She is a failure.
How do we decide this? At what weight are we considered fat? What height limit is the standard for short and tall? How can the definition of beauty be the same for everyone? Where is the book that specifies what it takes to be a failure?
And finally, why do you care?
If you want to do something about your weight, do it because it hinders your personal development or makes you feel self-conscious because your confidence depends upon it. Do it because you want to wear that pretty dress from last year that has become a bit tight on you. Do it because when you look at yourself in the mirror, you can’t see the sparkle in your eyes or the gleam in your smile because all you see is your tummy. Do it because health is important to you and you want to be fit.
In short, do it for yourself.
And even if you don’t want to do something about your weight, then great! But learn to live with your decision, survive the criticism and be happy with the way you look.
Because, after all, isn’t that the only thing we are all chasing?